Still Under the Chisel: Why Warren & Pam Said Yes to Made for More
By Barb Rolen
If you’ve known Skip Koshak for as long as I have, you might do a double take when you read this post. That’s because Skip goes by his given name now — Warren. Old habits die hard, so forgive me if I slip back and forth a little.
I’ve had the privilege of doing life with Warren and Pam for nine years now — six of those really doing life together. They were my life group leaders. We’ve taught Sunday school side by side. I’ve even watched their precious German Schnauzers while they were on vacation. (If you know, you know — that’s a level of trust reserved for real friends.)
So when our staff learned I had interviewed Warren and Pam for my book, Raising Truth Seekers, it didn’t take long to decide who should write this post.
Pam found Transformation Prayer Ministry first — she was in a T-Group I led in Katy back in 2019–2020. Warren watched what began to change in her, and eventually decided to see for himself what all the fuss was about. What happened next between them is the kind of story that’s almost too honest to read comfortably — which is exactly why it’s worth reading.
This post is about the marriage that had to be rebuilt before any of the rest could happen. Here’s Pam and Skip’s story, in their own words, from Raising Truth Seekers.
The Sculptor’s Gentle Chisel: Pam & Skip’s Journey
When false beliefs take root in a marriage, they can create walls that seem insurmountable. For Pam and Skip, these beliefs led to ongoing tension and mistrust. They each became defensive, which hurt their relationship and their parenting.
“I was always on the defensive, believing that I had to protect myself,” Skip shares. “I did not see my spouse as a partner or co-equal because I believed she was not putting my interests before her own or that she was even capable.”
Meanwhile, Pam carried her own burden of false beliefs. “I thought I had to ‘become something’ before I could let my guard down. I was convinced my husband was not ‘for me,’ and I didn’t trust him.”
This lack of trust created a difficult cycle. Arguments became common, and their ability to work through life together started to disappear. Their parenting reflected these same struggles.
“I thought I had to ‘protect’ our children from my spouse’s flaws,” Skip admits. “It was a way to keep control. This controlling behavior stifled our children’s ability to grow.”
The Turning Point
Pam was the first to discover Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM). As Skip watched the change in his wife, he decided to pursue TPM himself. When they both began practicing TPM regularly, something wonderful started to happen. The Holy Spirit began revealing God’s truth in areas where false beliefs had taken hold.
“TPM helped me see God’s perspective,” Pam shares. “He loves me, and nothing I do will change that. This understanding lets me accept my husband’s love.”
This shift in perspective changed their approach to communication and conflict resolution. They created a common language and framework. This helped them handle tough times with grace instead of being defensive.
“TPM has given us a grid to look at feelings honestly and ask the Holy Spirit why,” Pam shares. “If and when we become angry or triggered, we have given each other permission to ask ‘What’s going on? What are you feeling?'”
The Transformation
The transformation in their marriage has been profound. Where defensiveness and control once reigned, tenderness and patience now flourish.
“I am now more tenderly present, more willing to connect deeply, and more trusting in God to protect me (He is the only One who can),” Skip reflects.
Pam adds, “I’m calmer, more peaceful, and have a reliance on the Holy Spirit that is more intentional.”
This healing has extended to their parenting as well. Skip describes how TPM has granted him “the ability to be more discerning and sensitive to the move of the Holy Spirit. I am better equipped to be empathetic toward our children. I am able to be more objective and much less controlling.”
A Continuing Journey
Perhaps most beautiful is how they view their ongoing transformation. Skip describes it this way: “The Lord is a Sculptor, chiseling away my ‘old self’—the false beliefs and behaviors. This process is loving, yet painful at times. In the end, He transforms me into His vision of my new creation.”
Rather than seeing the process as complete, they embrace it as a lifelong journey of refinement. “The longer I submit to His refinement, the more I realize there is more to be done,” Skip shares. “I am more patient with myself and others during this lifelong process of transformation.”
For families thinking about TPM, Pam and Skip’s story shows what can happen when false beliefs are replaced with God’s truth. Their marriage and parenting changed not by their own efforts, but by inviting the Holy Spirit into their deepest wounds and beliefs.
As Skip puts it, “I am open to His loving gaze as He searches me to find anything within me that is causing anxiety and/or separation from Him and His Truth.” This posture of openness has yielded beautiful fruit in their family—trust where there was suspicion, tenderness where there was hardness, and freedom where there was control.
Pam and Skip’s transformation created a new foundation for their marriage and their parenting. But sometimes the most powerful ripples come not from what we say to our children, but from what they witness in us. When children see their parents authentically pursuing God’s truth—not perfectly, but honestly—something shifts in their hearts. They learn that transformation is possible, that emotions don’t have to control us, and that there’s a way through pain rather than around it.
Closing
“The longer I submit to His refinement, the more I realize there is more to be done.” Warren wrote that about his own marriage — but honestly, it could just as easily describe the last several years of his life at Serenity Retreat.
After finishing TPM training and his internship, Warren and Pam began serving together in one-hour prayer sessions — and also serve in Bellville, many times on different weekends, so their precious German Schnauzer, Lillie Belle, gets taken care of at home. Warren went on to co-lead training and is now coaching one of our Mentors in Training. He completed a Truth Summit simply because he wanted to be the best mentor he could be. Recently, he was asked to join our Board of Directors — though honestly, he’d already been offering assistance with grant writing and other areas he has expertise in as a retired engineer from Shell.
That’s Warren. Not just changed — but committed to seeing more people changed.
Which is why we’re so glad Warren and Pam agreed to serve as our event chairs for this season’s fundraiser: Made for More: More People, More Transformation, More Often coming October 14.
Here’s what I’ve learned about Warren in nine years of friendship — six of them doing life together: when he commits to something, he goes all in. He and Pam don’t just give financially to Serenity Retreat — Warren made sure those gifts would be matched by Shell. That’s not a one-time favor. That’s a man who goes looking for ways to multiply what he’s already given.
One of my favorite things about Warren is this: he’s given family and close friends permission to call him out when behaviors don’t line up with who he is as a believer in Christ. He’ll tell you himself — no matter how painful it is to look honestly at his own “stuff”, he’s committed to doing exactly that. And if you try to compliment him on how far he’s come? He’ll turn it right back around and tell you it was the Spirit in him all along.
That’s the man who will be reaching out to you between now and October 14. Not a polished spokesperson with a pitch — a friend, still under the Sculptor’s chisel, still being made for more, inviting you into the same story.